a letter for my Dad

hi..dad.this is your son letter,and this letter i don't meant want posting to you,just a kind of my diary essay.the another way,i say this is my confession,yeah,a kind of sharing,a kind of shout out all of my mind,pour all in a media like this.
The first words i want try to say is"sorry".sorry dad,recently maybe you felt i had be change,unusually like before,more act silent when i be at home,with you and other,and mostly appears silent attitude.different like before,i usual make a joke with you sometime,and you always reply a joke too with me,and both of us laugh together,look so harmony.i am sorry,if recently month day by day you felt different to me.maybe make you feel a bit disappointed,you losing few part of me,the usual part of me,maybe.but you just never want confess it,reveal it to me when u faces me in home,and sometime you trace throw a joke with me,if i have a good mood feeling,i was serve you.It's all my fault dad,i'm too selfish,i just thinking from my self and my side,never want try to think from your side,and your world,a father.Dad,although whatever,all that i ever act didn't absolutely true,it's because i can't defeat my self,my emotion,and my emotion recently time so labile,cause many dilematic problem i faces in my mind,relate with in my routinity,my job,my loneliness maybe,and my dream.
cause i knew,you put whole you hope in mine,and the factly,the reality i faces isn't easy to make it come true,although i keep to belief,and saving in my mind and put all the thing to my Lord.
Dad,i can understand now,how different your period with mine,when i still keep looking the future,think a future,plan a future,when i keep growing up with my body and my mind,you have been take a long journey,and now you have walk almost till the end of this journey,and you have no looking the future anymore,everyday in your life,in your view,in your mind just still keep remembering the all memories you ever done,you keep your mind to try always remember each path of the road you ever past.